Monday, November 24, 2008

My Girl

Dearest Aubrey,
You should be here. You should be 18 years old. Driving, working, studying, babysitting your siblings. Laughing with me. Loving me. I picture you with long, brown hair like your sisters and big, blue eyes. On September 5th, 1990 you died. I was distraught even as you grew. I was distraught before the vacuum suctioned your body from mine. I was distraught after. Regret hardly conveys the depth of my emotion. A grief and a sorrow that consumes me at times. I can hardly bear it because I did not fight for your life. Fight to protect you. Fight for your right to live and grow and be. I did not place your life before my desperate thoughts of self-preservation. I was deceived into thinking you were a clump of cells, tissue, you were nothing, you were not even a baby.
I know what I have done. I carry it. I own it. I live with it. I would give anything to go back there though, and tell them all to go to hell, walk out that abortion mill door and embrace your life.
The grief I feel is hardly as big as the love, Aubrey. The love I have for you knows no bounds. The joy I have in knowing that I will see you one day. The hope I feel in telling others about you.
You are my daughter and I will honor your short life in every way that I can, as long as I live.

I love you, Aubrey,
Mommy

7 comments:

Pasadena Closet Conservative said...

A loving, beautiful tribute. I'm thankful that my fellow conservative bloggers have such intelligence and character. God bless you, and have a happy Thanksgiving!

Carla said...

Thank you, Pasedena Closet Conservative!

Bevy said...

You will see her again - have you heard "Tilly" by Focus on the Family - it is your hope and firm faith ...

Carla said...

Have not heard Tilly but hand out the book to other post abortive moms. :) Excellent resource.

Christina Aguayo said...

Carla, your last post on this page was about 8 years ago. I hope that you are doing fine. My daughter 17 is in a debate class and is having a debate on abortion in her class. She is pro life. We came across your post and just want to send you a big hug, we felt your daughter's presence here with us today. You're a beautiful mother for honoring her life in this way.

Carla said...

Dearest Christina,
Thank you for taking the time to comment!!
And thank you for the hug!

I am doing well. I am busy with a pregnancy care center, a maternity home, speaking publicly about my abortion and starting a prolife coalition at my church. In Aubrey's honor.

3 women that I know of chose life because I told my story.

God is good!!!

Carla said...

And God bless your daughter in her prolife stance!!
Fight the good fight!!