March for Life 2011 St. Paul, MN

That's me. In the red sweater. Rubbing my nose.

Facing the Truth

The cause of any and every woman’s pain after abortion is that your baby died in your abortion. A child was conceived and you had been pregnant and every mom out there KNOWS this. There is no way to explain away the fact that a woman is pregnant with a growing, fully alive human child when she walks into an abortion clinic and that the life of her child is ended by the time you walk out that door. In fact your child’s body was torn to pieces and then pieced back together to make sure that the “uterine contents” were removed.

When that realization hits that you paid for the death of your innocent, growing child there can be a facing of that truth. Once you face it head on you can find hope and healing. Facing the truth brings you out of denial and the healing can begin.

Anger

I have righteous anger!! It takes everything I’ve got not to rant when I hear about how “safe” abortion is and how there are no risks or complications or that I am mentally ill for FINALLY realizing my daughter was KILLED in my abortion and I deeply regret it!

I am angry that I was freaking LIED to at the clinic and was so desperate I couldn’t think straight. I am angry that I was yelled at there and treated so rudely. I am angry that I was ever there that day!

I am angry that proaborts want to silence me, ridicule me, and trivialize my experience.

I am angry that my grief is dismissed time and time again as though I am some lunatic grieving a "bunch of cells."

I am angry that telling my abortion story is looked upon as “having an agenda” while a woman saying she has never given a whit about her abortion is just being “honest.”

I am angry that so many that claim to be prolife continue to regard me as a slut who couldn’t keep her legs closed! OR that I should have known better and I got what I paid for!

BUT God continually helps me keep my wits about me and try to communicate even when it falls on deaf ears. He knows my heart. How can I keep silent??!!

Well. I guess THAT was a rant!!

To You

A Christmas letter to post-abortive mothers

Dear Moms,

If you have had an abortion you regret and are in need of help, I am thinking of you this Christmas season. You are always on my mind but this season as family gets together I think of you and wonder if you are remembering a child that might be alive today that might have joined you and held that special spot in your family had they lived.

I think of you and wonder if you have reached out for help yet. If you regret your abortion there is help and hope and healing for you. There are women that have been where you are and are waiting to help you. I am waiting to help you.

I am a woman that has been through an abortion experience that I deeply regret and grieve the baby that died that day. I understand what you may be thinking or feeling. I have been there. I know too well the realization of what I paid for in my fear and desperation. I found my way out of the darkness and so can you. You are not alone.

I am imploring you right now to reach out. You need only Google abortion recovery, call your nearest PRC or email me. God has placed it on my heart to be here for you. To hold out my hand to you and walk with you on the journey of abortion recovery. I can hardly bear the thought that you are suffering in silence like I did.

My prayer for you is that God gives you the strength to find Him – that He would help you realize how precious you are to Him. You are His daughter. Nothing you have done is beyond His forgiveness, beyond His grace. He is waiting for you to draw near to Him.

If you find yourself struggling after your abortion, please reach out. God bless you and yours this Christmas season.

I love you,
Carla

P.S. – The stockings pictured above are hung with care every year. Aubrey died in my abortion. Jamie and Lee were miscarried. They have their own special place in our family.

********************************

Jill Stanek allowed me to share my heart this season with this post.

My Babies

They are waiting for me in heaven.

Oh Yeah

By family planning I think they mean abortion. How much family planning does Planned Parenthood do? All they offer is abortion!

Jill Stanek

Jill explaining holding a baby born alive after an induced labor abortion. She held a little boy with Down Syndrome for 45 minutes until he took his last breath. Her story is here.
An 11 year old girl came up with her mother to chat with Jill about being prolife.
I met with Jill at a banquet for the Woodbury Pregnancy Options. I have been a moderator on her blog for 2 1/2 years. The money raised at the banquet is going to purchase an ultrasound machine. Ultrasounds save lives!! 80% of moms that see the ultrasound do not abort.

UPDATE The banquet raised $40,000!!

Jill and I stayed out yapping until midnight. Still paying for that.

A Poem for Planned Parenthood

Ignore the pain

Your head we fill

Swallow the lies

Swallow the pill

If you ever hurt

about the killing

Don’t call us for help

We aren’t willing

We care about women

We care we say

Will that be Visa or Mastercard

today?

-CS

A Love Letter

Dearest Aubrey,

20 years ago I walked into the Meadowbrook clinic and hadn't the slightest idea what I was in for after you died. Now I know. Now I understand. I love you more everyday and continue to do all that I do in the prolife movement in your honor. You are a blessing to me and it is only His Amazing Grace that has helped me to see that. I am your Mom and you are my daughter and I don't have the words to express what your life means to me today. Know that I think of you often and picture you happy and that you will run to me on that glorious day. Until then I will carry on, Aubrey.

I love you so much,

Mommy

I am changing(just a bit)what David said in 2 Samuel 12:23

"I shall go to her, but she will not return to me."

All For Aubrey

The triathlon was amazing! I gave it my all in honor of my daughter who died in my abortion. I am so grateful to God that He has her safe with Him. I grieve with hope and continue to reach out to others that are hurt by abortion.

Thank you, Jill!

I wrote up a blog post for Jill Stanek about the race this Saturday. Here it is!

Help and Support

While on vacation in Utah I stopped by the Pregnancy Resource Center in Murray. I wanted to make sure they had a chance to learn about The Bella Hero Project. I also couldn't help but notice that they were right next door to a Planned Parenthood. Fighting the good fight!!

St. Croix County Fair

Thank you to my sweet friend Jamie who was in the booth with me! We both had a chance to tell our stories to some very enthusiastic prolifers at the fair! Jamie heard me tell my abortion story at FCC. She became pregnant and put her little girl up for adoption!

Truth

If abortion had been illegal I never would have had one.

If I would have seen the ultrasound or heard the heartbeat I never would have had an abortion.

If anyone would have reached out to me in my desperation with compassion and love I never would have been at the clinic that day.

If I had a heart filled with hope I would have never done it.

If I would have been told the truth about fetal development at the abortion clinic I never would have had one.

If I would have waited until the shock had worn off I would have thought more clearly and looked at all of the options and never had an abortion.

If I knew then what I know now I would have had my baby.

Parade

The parade was awesome! I loved carrying the huge ultrasound photo of a child in the womb and my daughter Sarah enjoyed showering the children with candy! We received a very positive response. There was clapping and cheering, smiles and waves. The announcer said, "This is the Pregnancy Helpline, they help and support women in unplanned pregnancies. Look at that ultrasound of a baby! Look at that baby sucking her thumb!"

Feels good to stand for LIFE!!

The Word

Rescue those being led away to death;

hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say,

“But we knew nothing about this,”

does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?

Does not he who guards your life know it?

Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?

Proverbs 24:11-12

Pray With Me

Prayer to End Abortion

Lord God, I thank you today

for the gift of my life,

And for the lives of all my

brothers and sisters,

I know there is nothing that

destroys more life than abortion,

Yet I rejoice that you have conquered death

by the Resurrection of Your Son.

I am ready to do my part in ending abortion.

Today I commit myself

Never to be silent,

Never to be passive,

Never to be forgetful of the unborn.

I commit myself to be active

in the pro-life movement,

And never to stop defending life

Until all my brothers and sisters

are protected, And our nation

once again becomes a nation

with liberty and justice,

but for all,

Through Christ our Lord.

Amen!

Fr. Frank Pavone

Priests for Life

OO City Leaders

I have been blessed to find City Leaders for Operation Outcry in Wisconsin! I am so grateful for these folks who help spread the word about declarations!!

If you have been hurt by abortion please go to the Operation Outcry website and fill out a declaration. They are used in furthering prolife legislation across the US.

Introducing

Laura Denk-West Bend

Robin Becker-Milwaukee

Paul Snyder-Eau Claire

Dee Gorst McCoy-Sheboygan

Prayer Vigil

Pam Stenzel and I.
Brian Gibson, the Executive Director of Prolife Action Ministries.

This sign was put up just for us. Sweet.
This is the site of the proposed mega "eco-friendly" killing facility that Planned Parenthood wants to build in St. Paul, MN. I met with the faithful prolifers who are praying against this. We prayed and also let the neighbors know about who wants to move into their neighborhood. They were very receptive. The fight is on.

Atta Boy!

My eldest son sporting his new t-shirt from American Life League.

RV

I have received word that I am now an official Rachel's Vineyard facilitator!! I am so excited and am looking forward to seeing what God has planned. I have attended two retreats myself and have been blessed by that time spent. Healing after my abortion seems to come in layers for me and I know that God wants me to walk with other women on their journeys of abortion recovery. The planning and financing may take quite awhile but it is all in His timing.

Counseling

For many years I have prayed about being a sidewalk counselor in front of abortion mills. It has never seemed like the right time for me until I read about this. I will be preparing for battle by getting some training through Pro-Life Action Ministries and by the time this killing facility is opened in December 2011, I will be out there. I will be offering to women all of the support and help and care that I wanted for myself before my abortion in 1990.

Tattoo Talk

I brought my eldest son to the dentist this week and since it was so hot I wore a t-shirt. I forgot that all winter my tattoo has been covered up and now it is out! The lady behind the desk asked me about my tattoo when I was preparing to pay for services rendered. Wow. I don't mean to be so in your face about it but I told her. I said, "Aubrey is the name of my daughter. She died in my abortion on Sept. 5th, 1990." She asked me what happened. I told her I made a very rash decision, I didn't know what else to do and I was lied to about how abortion would affect my life. All while scanning my card, signing my name on the dotted line and telling my youngest to stay by momma. With 3 more dental appointments to set up, I am sure the conversation has only just begun.

Good Friday Prayer Vigil 2010

Women's health matters which is why they shouldn't have abortions.
This crowd hearts Planned Parenthood.
My prayer warrior friends who came out in the wind, lightning, thunder and torrential rain!

Speak Up

I am speaking tomorrow at a Life Perspectives Symposium put on by the St. Croix Valley Christians for Life group. I have become a member. The message being sent to organizations and churches in my area is that we value life from conception to natural death. Abortion is just one of the many issues that we are educating people about. Here is more information.

40 Days for Life

Julie, Carla and Maria
The sign we were asked by a Planned Parenthood worker to remove. The snow bank is public property!!
Where the real help is found just down the street from Planned Parenthood.

There were quit a few honks and thumbs up in support. Some yells of MORONS and MY BODY MY CHOICE. What an amazing afternoon of peace and prayer. For more information please see the 40 Days website.

Hope For Life 2010

The Hope for Life conference information is here. What an amazing line up of speakers!! Please consider going!

Rain Dance

My sweet author friend Joy DeKok has written a book called Rain Dance which has touched my heart. Rain Dance deals with abortion and infertility in such a tender way. The main characters became my immediate friends. I wept through parts of it, which just brings more healing to the soul of this post abortive mother. I think I have read Rain Dance 4 times so far. I hope you will consider reading Rain Dance.

Joy has a blog and wrote a blog post about me!!

Star Tribune

This is an article about the March for Life in St. Paul, MN. Colleen Tronson is a friend of mine from Silent No More Minnesota. What an amazing gathering of prolifers!!

Introducing

Julie Weber and her husband Jeff. They are the new MN Team Leaders for Operation Outcry!! So excited to see what 2010 has in store for us!

March for Life St. Paul, MN

Senator Norm Coleman
Rep. Michele Bachmann
Governor Tim Pawlenty

6,000 people came to march in St. Paul today! My postabortive friends and I were placed right in front of the podium. I was a bit overwhelmed to face a crowd of 6,000 but I managed. :) I was interviewed by the Star Tribune.

Appleton, WI

It is time to defund Planned Parenthood!! The abortionist says it is a baby at 6-7 months! The assistant says it is a baby at birth! So....which is it Planned Parenthood? You can't even keep your own lies straight! And what is with the thumb twiddling of the abortionist and the pen flicking of the assistant? Nervous that you might not make this sale?

Sarah Palin

I met Sarah Palin at the beginning of the month. My experience is over at Fourby40 and also at Prolife Pulse. Thanks, Jill!!

Memorial

MEMORIAL TO THE PREBORN
West Bend, WI

Aubrey died in my abortion and Jamie and Lee were miscarried. I love you my sweet babies.

Great News!

Julie and Jeff Weber have agreed to be the MN Team Leaders for Operation Outcry! I have been praying for this for 2 years! That God would raise up His people to help others into abortion recovery and gather declarations and join me in the fight! I look forward to what God has planned.

CCF

My husband Patrick made the banner and the board. Thank you!
My friend Tracy who came out for Operation Outcry and the Bella Hero Project.

The Christian Community Fair was awesome! I met so many amazing people and made quite a few contacts in the Twin Cities! This introverted girl is still trying to process it all.